The Tucker Family

Update on the family...older kiddo adoption

2011-01-12T19:22:00.000-08:00

Last post was August.....okay, that is hard to believe. I can't believe it is 2011 already; I can't really believe what has taken place in our lives over the last 2 years....it is really an amazing few years. It wasn't too many years ago that we responded to the question of adoption pretty emphatically with "no way". So, rather ironic and just plain kind, loving, gracious of God to change up all of that for us.

It has been a bit of a whirlwind since Rediet came home about 5 months ago. She is a wonderful addition to our family; she is a super hard worker and is determined to know English and be the best student and soccer player....motivating her is not a problem. Pulling her back some is. Her english is definitely coming along; understands us pretty well at this point and can communicate decently with us.

I think the most interesting part of the two years....and this is not unexpected, is that it has been hard on our bio kids. They have done wonderfully; they love their brother and sister.....stop and think about that for a little bit...it really is amazing --- they have a new brother and new sister from across the world -- and they love them. But, none of this has come easy and none of it comes without some heartache, some dying to oneself ....which, to ask a 38 or 40 year old to die to oneself is one thing....to ask an 8 year old; well, it can be harder. All four of our kiddos are doing great...but, it is an adjustment on all 4 of them --- and it has been harder than we expected in many ways; easier in others.

We wouldn't change it for anything; thankful to the Lord for this opportunity; He has blessed us with a larger family than we thought we would ever have and we are grateful; grateful that we have 4 children that we know have heard the Gospel and that get a chance to be raised in a very IMPERFECT family....that loves the Lord and has parents that try to love their 4 kiddos in a way that honors the Lord and gives them in our very best moments just a fraction of Gods love for them.....but hopefully enough that it isn't crazy for them to think of their Heavenly Father as a loving Father.

So....not really sure if anyone is still out there......we need to post some pictures, but, part of our own adjustment is realizing with a few more kids, free time is even less so!

If anyone is processing older child adoption; we certainly are a willing respondant of any questions or comments. We've had some friends look into it and I think some of the issues that were raised were surprising to them....and quite honestly, we think if anyone does go into older child adoption, there are many things that you need to at least process mentally....and then expect that you can't fully prepare yourself for it as well. We've also seen how some "information", at least in international adoptions, can be harder to get and with language issues/culture issues, etc --- some information is not accurate (not purposefully....just because of some of those language/culture issues) or not seen as important.

Open to dialogue further on all of this.

Cary

Habesha & Farenji

2010-08-25T18:48:00.000-07:00

We have been home now for just about 5 days and its been a good start. We have had the very normal things like just trying to communicate (ie: point, grunt, growl, smile, laugh, gigle and point again). Yes, this is with our 9 year old...in return, we get a few giggles, a few raised eyebrows, a few sighs and the raising of eyebrows, a few "no's", and a few "i'll just ignore whatever it is you maybe just said" looks.

Today was a good one though for Sarah....and I got a neat moment too. For bedtime, Sarah got a hug and a kiss goodnight! For me earlier, we were "talking" --- and I said something to the effect to Rediet that I was habesha (ethiopian).....she laughed, and said, "no, farenji". I responded, "no, habesha"..........this was my fun thing to do in ethiopia.......I don't think I fooled anyone, but, enjoyed telling them I was not farenji, I was habesha. Anyways, I pointed to Sarah and Rediet said, "Farenji". I went and found our amharic book and pointed to her (habesha), me (farenji), and Sarah (farenji)..........and then said in amharic "family". Rediet smiled.

So, if the next 5 days are hard; I'll try and remember tonight.....that was fun. I could imagine...in a really small way, that is most definitely the way the Lord envisioned the way we would interact and care for each other.......habesha and farenji.........one family. black, white, hispanic,.....you name it.........one family; one Father in Heaven; one Son; one Holy Spirit......all in one.........one family. Thankful we get to be a part of His family........how wonderful is He; we are not only "farenji" --- "foreigners" compared to Him.......we don't even deserve to get to look at Him; yet, through His Son, we are one with Him, we are no longer "farenji"......we are family.

I had lunch today with a friend.....and talked about how adoption impacts me probably more than it ever will Rediet or Wolasa.......tonight is a good example.....I was reminded of His goodness through a simple conversation of habesha and farenji.....and reminded of what He has done so that I could be part of His family.....an heir with full rights......just like Rediet and Wolasa are today in my family.

Cary

RedietEthiopia

2010-08-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

It's down to one trip

2010-08-04T20:04:00.000-07:00

When we got home just about a year ago with our son Wolasa, I did not think we would be back quite so quickly. Having met Rediet on our first trip and then having a chance to see her again on another trip, I thought we could possibly adopt her, but, didn't really think if we did that it would happen so fast. Well, just 6 months into the process the second go round...and here we are....down to one last trip. I filled out the forms to take with us, we've got our plane tickets and now its just waiting till next Friday comes.

This is no doubt not without some anxieties and fears.....fears for each of us involved. We have had good friends go through the older adoptions and it's been really hard. I definitely admit and acknowledge that I'm really hopeful that God will be gracious to all of us in this transition. We certainly feel like He has been with Wolasa. I hope that our girls will all get along; I hope that Wolasa will not feel completely outnumbered and overwhelmed by three sisters; I hope that our kids will really, really understand some day why we have done this.........that they will truly know that our desire to love the Lord and follow Him was reason enough....that they will not only know why but also be thankful. None of that may come soon, but, I do pray that it comes.

So thankful that I have a bride that is a great partner in this....I know she bears most of the load during the days. Thankful that we are on the same page, that we are yoked together to the Lord and that we can remind each other each day to keep Him at the center and to trust in Him. Lord, we trust in You.....thank you for today, thank you for also the day that we bring our daughter home, and thank you for the strength that you'll give us, the peace that I know you provide. Thank you for the many blessings in our lives.

CT

Our newest addition....Rediet Tucker

2010-07-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

It has been a crazy week......and it is late after just getting back from Ethiopia. We have passed court and have our 2nd trip planned for Aug 13 to Aug 20 to go pick up Rediet. We had a great time with her this last week, all three of our girls. An amazing trip and so thankful that Rediet is now officially our daughter.

Cary and Sarah......exhausted from 30+ hours of travel and very little sleep.

Addis ----- Here we come! Oh yeah....in 7 days!

2010-07-16T14:39:00.000-07:00

Well......I truly believe God is in control...sometimes things happen that re-affirm that; sometimes things happen that cause me to trust in Him and trust in the things that I cannot see....but that I hope in and believe.

Yesterday and today were a couple of days where we got to see the part of His control....and boy is it sweet.

We are heading to Addis for our court date for our "R"....we can't wait to see you honey. We have MOWA and our Court date on July 27.

Prayers for a success on both ends and hopefully by end of August, she will be back with us.

So amazing...didn't expect till after rainy season ---- so excited, so much to do. Just bought 4 tickets.....ouch! Can't wait for our daughters to meet "R" and for them to see Ethiopia and hang out with our good friend Solomon while we are there.

Also hope to see Aschalew (director of Kidmia, www.kidmia.org) while we are there.

Praise the Lord. I know He is GREAT without a court date.....but, HE is GREAT with the court date...

Cary

I71H Approval

2010-06-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

We received our immigration approval today! So, what that means for us is that we get one more document notarized tomorrow....and I think the paperwork is done for quite some time. More importantly though....what that really means is that we get to get started of having our documents sent to Ethiopia and getting a court date scheduled. It would be a miracle to beat the rainy season....so, our expectations are for October timeframe...but it would be wonderful to go early. We can't wait to let our sweet girl know about her family and the to start sending pics and stuff....but, that all will have to wait till the process moves along further.

We have also been really encouraged by the process that Gladney has been walking us through. They recently launched a program called Pathways, a program designed to help families in the adoption of older children. We've been meeting quite a bit with our case worker, Amy, and really walking through a ton of issues. So thankful that the Lord has provided this resource for us and that we are surrounded by so many people from Gladney and our church body, Watermark, that has a heart for the orphaned and vulnerable children. (www.gladney.org)

Lastly, there has been a ton going on with Kidmia these days. Our new in country direction, Ato Aschalew, has been amazing. The Lord was very gracious in providing someone like Aschalew to lead Kidmia. We are now caring for over 50 kids (25 on site and 25 off site in the community). We also have a friend going over in the next week and will be capturing photos and video for us....can't wait to update everyone. (www.kidmia.org)

Referral!!

2010-05-21T04:29:00.000-07:00

Two days ago we received our referral for our daughter! Although still have some paper work due, we have been officially matched to her! So exciting, so many emotions..again! I'm doing a study on Ester,which the timing is amazing! not only was she an orphan who the Lord used big time in spite of her losses (which were many), she also was challenged to step up when a comfortable life would have been much easier! See Ester 4. As I think about the calling to adopt and what I too have wrestled with I love how Beth Moore challenged me through God's word and I pray it would challenge others. It gives me a drive to pray for those who are sitting on the fence with adoption and for those who ignore the calling altogether. She states:

"Sometimes we fear that fighting for what is right will kill us. Then again, it occurs to us that to stand by and do nothing out of self-preservation is to be dead already."

"At some point the hardest times in my life, I have been able to make the more difficult choice out of pure blind-eyed, bent-kneed acceptance that it was somehow part of a greater plan. I was beaten by a conviction that throbbed relentlessly against my strong self-centeredness. As much as my flesh wanted relief, i knew that when all was said and done, I'd sit on that side of glory having much rather fulfilled my calling than served myself all the way to meaninglessness. I had to accept that I was not called to an easy life. I was called to a purposeful life." AMEN!!!!

"Failure to decide brings personal loss and misses the opportunity to fulfill God's purposes. Failure to decide is to decide on failure"..

Now she wasn't talking about Adoption but she was talking about Ester who at a critical moment could sit in her nest of comfort or choose to step out in faith and do something, God's purpose for her, even if she perished. (Even if it didn't turn out the way she hoped)

Sarah

Motherhood

2010-05-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

Today I sit here so blessed, beyond anything I EVER thought was possible. Yet I know the best is yet to come. Not here of course, so until then I will seek to live in gratitude and humility for ALL the Lord has done and will continue to do. A common theme in my life is that the Lord has used the most painful of circumstances to mold me, refine me but ultimately giving me the gift of complete abundance and satisfaction. Not from what the world says is satisfactory (smart kids, big home, nice car,etc..)but in peace and unexplainable joy that would seem crazy to those looking in at our life. A peace which only comes from not focusing on the external but the eternal Jesus Christ! John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Do I have it down? NO..It's been a continued to process that I desire to grow daily in the way I live and do. This is where the children come in. God has absolutey used my children to refine me, Yes, I am there for them but to not celebrate that the Lord uses our children to refine us(if we let Him) would be to not reckonize the invisible hand and providence of God. I never knew how selfish I was (outside of marriage) until I had kids. I also never realized how controlling I can be until I get anxious and upset that my kids are'nt doing what I ask of them or teach them. I am so grateful that the Lord has revealed to and grown me (still in training) that my part is to train them in the way they should go, to reproof, discpline, love.... The rest is God's..He knows,He already has their days set and numbered. I may not get the results I desire for them but I can know that I was faithful.

How much pressure I can put on myself that because they are not getting it,or that they have made bad choices that I am failing as a mom. HOGWASH! There has been so much peace in knowing and accepting that my kids are seperate from me. I am responsible to them not for them. They are accountable to making their own choices ( I can't control that) but they cannot control thier consequences. My part is to love them and when they fail to follow through with love and truth, not uuhhhhhhh, you did it again, when will you learn mentality. I'm still learning! I still sin daily! born that way,no way out accept accepting the gift of Christ love! but i know that when I start to get critical of them.. Jesus could write much in the sand. Do i want to force my childrens' hand in obedience or do I want their hearts to be pure! Psalm 51 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Thank you Caitlin, Carly, Wolasa and Rediet. Caitlin,although it has been so hard at times, God is using you and will continue to mold you through your choices, good or bad. And in His soverenty, HE will use you in the life of others if they allow! What a mighty work he is doing in my heart because you are in my life. You are a joy and have more energy than I can keep up with, your intensity, God will use. Your perserverance that you have learned now is unbelievable. The way you can forgive and ask for forgiveness, most adults cannot do, yet you are learning it now. God will use your compassion for life a long way! Carly, your laugh and wittinesss drive me crazy yet make me laugh all at the same time. Your cautiousness with every situation will far, your fire cracker personality will be used by God for sure! Your affection for us is so rewarding when mamma is exhausted! You are precious!!Wolasa, tender, gentle and a lover!! You taught me so much even before you actually where in my arms. Your are teaching me much now. I love your love for learning and they way you want to help with everything! There are days when i could eat you up!!! Sweet Rediet, you are teaching me much too, the Lord is refining my faith through your abscence. I long for you to be home. I love you kids, happy kids day! because there wouldn't be a mothers' day without you! Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Celebrating Wolasa's 4th Birthday.....and Some Fingerprints

2010-04-23T20:26:00.000-07:00

We had two great days....we first got to celebrate Wolasa's first birthday with us....his 4th birthday. It was pretty low key on Thursday....he got a power wheels four wheeler (or as Wolasa says "Motocycle" and he had the joy....we'll, we all got the "joy" of dinner and games at Chuck E Cheese Thursday night. We have more fun planned this weekend.

What a joy to get to celebrate our son's birthday.

Today, Sarah and I got to get our CIS fingerprints. Our good friends the Leventhal's also had their fingerprints done today as they move forward with their adoption of their son, Joshua, from China.

Cary

Closer and Closer

2010-04-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday we were notified that we are officially approved through gladney! So so excited! we have our fingerprint appt. this week with CIS! I can't believe we are closer. The second time around things are moving alot quicker. We are two months ahead of schedule. Now we fully realize things can slow at any moment but still excited ;) Cary and I went out last night to celebrate our anniversary and his birthday(which is tomorrow). It was so fun to look back and see that it was two years ago on his birthday that we decided to move forward with adoption! and now our precious boy is home and another is on the way. God is so amazing, the last two years have been so exciting and so fulfilling , nervewracking and hard! But I cannot even imagine not doing it and how much we would have missed out on with the Lord, how much I would have missed out on, so many opportunities to love,share, witness, teach, be taught! Can't wait to bring her home. My heart aches for her to be here.
Sarah

Update to Process

2010-04-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

Adoption Update ------We received our documents back from FBI today and also received our appointments for fingerprints..........and got word that our homestudy was approved........all today! Our hope is 5 months from now we'll be on our way to bring our daughter home.....If anyone out there is going to Addis anytime in next few months and will be visiting Kechene....please let us know. Once we finally get matched our daughter will finally know what we've been up to these last 7 months since we first met her.....and will love to see/hear how she is doing.

So, are you guys crazy?

2010-03-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

I had lunch the other day with a good friend and I was showing him a picture of our daughter that we are in the process of trying to adopt....and the question of "so, are you guys crazy" comes out.

Now...the answer to the question may actually be "yes" ---so, I can't entirely blame him for asking. But, it was rather funny....and then he got a chance to explain a little bit more.

The crazy part is of course the idea of adopting another child....traveling across an ocean to bring another child into our family. The crazy part is adopting a child that is the same age (or near) our oldest daughter. The crazy part is the pure cost of all of this ---today ----and forever more. The crazy part is I know he knows that we know we are far from great parents today.

So ----again - yes, I think we are crazy. I told him that the good news is that I think we can agree on that ---we are crazy. The only thing crazier in my view was us not to adopt her.

God - thank you for this priviledge...hoping for your tender mercies along the way ---but, either way --I know you are right in the middle with us. James 1:27.

Cary

sanantoniotucker

2010-03-20T16:27:00.001-07:00

It was such a blessing being with family. I enjoyed every moment. I am so thankful and blessed. Our kiddos did great considering we packed in a ton this past week and had some late nights. Wolasa unfortunately is under the weather but he is getting lots of love! I couldn't help but think about my daughter..so many different emotions, just want her here. Praying that will be soon.

Thinking about the process

2010-03-20T15:19:00.001-07:00

We have been laying around today - resting from our spring break trip to San Antonio - and have had lots of time to think about the adoption process. Actually a bit nervous excited today ---starting to think that at some point in next month or so we should get Gladney approved and then start to hear back from FBI sometime in next month or so. Just praying for our daughter - and praying for the process. I so hope that we get on the wait list before some of our friends go back for their adoptions - it would be great to have some friends put their arms around her and tell her how much she is loved.

We also are experiencing Wolasa's first sickness since being home for over 6 months (that is amazing in itself). He has been a trooper - laying around all day today - no complaining though.

Blessing

2010-02-24T04:18:00.000-08:00

Blessing- a gift bestowed by God. Just had to write that today as i think about my daughter across the world right now. I am in awe of what the Lord continues to teach me and also how I desire to grow. I have been deeply challenged by our church over the past few weeks. The message series, Life is too short.. so convicting! www.watermark.org go to messages and you can download or just watch. I have also but studying the book of Daniel through a bible study by Mrs. Beth Moore. She is a hoot!but I believe very passionate and delivers the truth well. It's about modern day Babylon. Which could mean a place yet more a philosophy, a mentality too. Am I influencing this modern day Babylon or am I allowing it to influence me? But as I've thought about my daughter, I am overwhelmed with a desire to get her home. I can't believe my heart has turned, once again, and have the peace to move forward with this sweet child of God. Will it be the most challenging thing Iwill ever go through?Idon't know... maybe, maybe not..BUT I know God will get me through. I've enjoyed the reminders throughout this study about trials and how we can approach them. Beth states, typically 3 scenarios when we face trials...(like shadrach,Meshach and Abednego when they stood firm in faith and approached the furnace) WE can be delivered from the fire, and our faith is built..We can be delivered through the fire and our faith is refined..we can be delivered by the fire into His arms and our faith is perfected. WOW.. These guys were delivered through the fire (not from it!) They stood firm and didn't allow fear to overcome them ..They worshiped God alone, not the idols, not the king, not fear! For me my biggest idols is fear, focusing on my circumstance and being persuaded by temporal instead of eternal, focusing on others behaivor and allowing that to consume me instead of God and HIS word.. Daniel 3:17-18... If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." I know I'm babbling..My point is that I know the calling the Lord has put on my life.. To serve and worship HIM and out of that should be an overflow of abundant joy and love for others! inspite of all of us being challenging and difficult :) I am blessed, and my daughter is a blessing! I know it will be hard, yet I also know that God is good, and this child, who did not choose her sufferings, will be brought to us by the Lord to love and to share about a GOD who is merciful and will never leave you or forsake you. You are a blessing sweet girl. Love, mom

SNow in Texas!

2010-02-12T05:22:00.000-08:00

Gotta love snow in Texas, everyone freaks out! It's beatiful to enjoy for a small amount of time..and that's why I love it here! So Wolasa loved the snow, loved building a snowman, loved it! all the way up until the time the snow ball fights started. When Carly had her chance (wondering what was going through her mind) she threw a Nolan Ryan right at Wolasa and it was all over.. The crying began for the next half hour.. Poor baby..I got to love on him good. so then I am outside again and some friends of ours pull up in their car to say hello. As they roll down the back window and as I see the clear shot to the four year boy in the back I'm already turning to look at my oldest Caitlin(the rest in slow motion). Caitlin! "noooooooooooooo" But yes, her mind had already decided to move forward. Who knew that she would aim precisely and her target would be hit right between the eyes. Soooo sorry sweet friends,thanks for laughing and not judging. Your son wasn't laughing, in fact the opposite. Another memory to add to the crazy life of the Tucker's! God is so good, thank you for these unpredictable children who keep me on my knees and teach me that I cannot predict or control anything! Faith refined a little more today.

Ease and Comfort

2010-02-07T10:49:00.000-08:00

As we process adoption, one of the things that is interesting is how often people are concerned about what the results may be. Most of the time, well meaning and good people who care about us, are concerned with how hard adoption might be. They are right in many ways - adoption can be hard.....but, so are many other decisions that we make in life as well. Marriage is probably the one closest to adoption since both are truly "forever" commitments and can have generational impact.

The interesting thing is most people don't tell you not to marry because it is hard. But, with adoption, "hard" or in my words...."lack of ease or comfort in your life" is often brought up.

Why?

The other thing that as we process adoption, "God's will" often comes us. Why is God's will associated with whether or not something is "easy" or "comfortable". My guess is because we have people who preach that your life will be easy if you pray and say you love Jesus. Of course...this is no where in the Bible.

Just a ramble here - if something is God's will is not determined by how easy or comfortable the decision in which we made makes our life. It is God's will in our lives if it is something that God affirms in scripture. The fact that the results are hard does not mean it isn't God's will (just because it is easy doesn't mean it is God's will either).

I guess I'll I'm trying to do at this point is to ask the question - will this decision honor and glorify Christ. If the answer is "YES" - than as far as I'm concerned right now.....it is a good decision. Hope the results are good.....if not - than He must need to teach me something. Most likely, it will be something about my ideas on ease and comfort.

would love comments or challenges on this.
Cary

Sarah's Birthday

2010-02-06T22:16:00.000-08:00

Since I really don't use Facebook....don't have a Twitter account, and don't have an Iphone....I thought I would post a quick note on my night tonight.

I took my absolutely beautiful bride out for her 36th birthday dinner celebration. We went to The Keg in Plano and enjoyed a great steak and were served by a really nice Ethiopian young man named Dawit.

My honest thoughts tonight as I sat with Sarah - wow.....she really is more beautiful today than she was when we first met when she was just 23 (....Sarah - I thought you were beautiful then too!). Sarah....I love you honey. I am so blessed to have you as my bride, my partner in life. I am so blessed that God was just so amazingly kind and gentle with me to give me a wife that would not only do the "till death do us part" thing....but, He was gracious enough to bring me to Him through your acts of kindness, forgiveness, grace and love.

Sarah - you are a beautiful person. You have a beautiful heart. You are a beautiful mother. You have given me beautiful children. You have beautiful eyes...beautiful cheek bones.....a beautiful smile......I love you so. You are a most gorgeous 36 today my beautiful bride.

I love you.

Your husband who is humbly seeking Christ....praying that I will not screw up and think I can do this on my own.....praying that I will always seek Him first and as I do that - praying that I am the husband that you deserve.

Cary

Tucker Christmas! Wisconsin bound!

2010-02-06T12:37:00.001-08:00

Here it is!

Wolasa's first Christmas!

2010-02-06T12:32:00.000-08:00

We drove across the country to be with Cary's family for Christmas! It was so much fun and so very special! I have been meaning to show video so share our journey and just how sweet it has been with Wolasa! so Stayed tuned for that! IT's coming when I can remember how!

Update: Adoption

2010-02-03T18:20:00.000-08:00

Okay....we definitely are not very good at keeping our blog updated. We are back into full swing with school after a great Christmas time up in Wisconsin....Sarah will post a video of our trip later.

Sarah and I are really excited about our next step. We have made the decision after much prayer and processing to start our next adoption. As I previously mentioned on our last blog, we have been praying about a girl that we met while in Addis Ababa picking up Wolasa. We have made the decision to move forward and begin the paperwork process of that adoption.

Please be praying for this.....we basically on starting the paperwork process all over again. Please pray that the process would go as quickly as possible....you still have to go through all the same steps as before - but, hopefully, it will only be a year out or so. I'm optimistic that it will be quicker.

I was sharing with this Sarah this morning and the guys in my community group later that I was really overtaken by my thoughts......."wow, Lord, I can't believe how blessed I feel like I am, I just won the lottery getting the privilige to go and adopt".

I have no idea what is going to happen from here on out. There are so many things that can happen in a process like this; I trust God that whatever does happen, I know that our hearts in starting this is to glorify Him. I trust that He loves us. I trust that He loves our daughter on the other side of the world. I trust Him that if things are really hard some day, that He loves us, and that all of this still glorifies Him.

Look forward to keeping you up to date on this process as we move forward and once we get through all of our paperwork, and God willing, get matched.

Cary

Thanksgiving

2009-11-27T08:06:00.001-08:00

We are celebrating a wonderful Thanksgiving this year...and there is truly so much to be thankful for. I am so thankful that the Lord has been kind and gracious and blessed us with His presence in our lives. We don't always "feel" blessed....with circumstances that tend to just continually be up and down like a roller coaster; but, beyond our feelings.....the truth is evident.....we are blessed because we have a Father that was and is willing to sacrifice it all for us to have a relationship with Him.....that through Christ, we can be found righteous, and have confidence of an eternal life with Him....one that we cannot see today, but, hope in with confidence. That is a blessing indeed.....something that is solid rock.

We are blessed because we are celebrating Thanksgiving with my parents this year and celebrating Thanksgiving for the first year with our son, Wolasa....also sometimes known as Sammy.

We are blessed to get the priviledge of raising three children - Caitlin, Carly and Wolasa. Many people talk about "how lucky or blessed" Wolasa is because of our adoption....it is funny - before we adopted Wolasa I would respond..."well, we are the lucky ones".....I meant it - but, didn't really know if that was true.....I had enough fears inside of me about the unknown of it all - I really "hoped" that was true...but, didn't know for sure.

Having Wolasa home for now almost three months....it really is true. We are the blessed ones...because it is amazing to just see how God is so kind and gracious to give me a love for my son that I wouldn't really think possible. Now.....we are just getting started....and I don't "feel" very loving often....I don't really want to do somethings....but, I have continued to love Wolasa the best that I can...which is through my actions of treating him how I would want to be treated....and through this, my feelings are also starting to follow.

That is a blessing......a blessing that gives me a glimpse of how much God, our Father, loves me.

So much to be thankful for.

I am also so thankful for Sarah. I have a bride that is so good to me.....she has stuck with me through many trials....and has been so faithful through the years. She is honest when she struggles...and that helps me to struggle better with my own issues.. She also allows me to lead our family......that is a blessing indeed. Being able to lead my family really is a joy....knowing that I'm not in a competition with Sarah, knowing that I have the room and freedom to lead.....allows me to truly think long and hard about how well I am leading.....and how well, more importantly, am I serving. I am blessed to know that the best way I can lead my family is to serve them. Thank you Lord for being gracious in showing me this......please help me remember this!

I am thankful for my two girls....they are precious and teach me much. I am thankful that they are so spirited, I am thankful that they have kind hearts.....I am thankful that we get the opportunity to sharpen them...point them to Christ, and trust in Him along the way. We are definitely in a phase right now where things are hard....but, as I have recently been meditating on some Psalms....I know where my trust needs to be.....not in how well things go for my girls.....but, in the fact that my Lord is good, He loves them more than I do, He is aware of everything that is to come.....and He promises us to be in our midst......that He will be singing over us.......that is comforting to know......Help me Lord to remember this....for when I do....I know we are blessed.....and I am thankful for You.

I am thankful that there is a little girl on another side of an ocean that I really care about. I don't really know why this little girl, but, I do. I'm thankful that I get to pray for her, and I am thankful that she is in an orphanage and not where she was before. I am thankful that Sarah and I are both praying for her....and thankful that we are both open to adopting her. I really count it as a blessing that we can even process this.....that we even want to process this. I am thankful for Gladney....and how they are helping us process this sweet little girl.

I am thankful for community. We are surrounded by friends that love us....and are our family here in Dallas. I'm thankful that our friends point us back to the truth of who Christ is in the midst of life....I'm thankful that when some things are just plain hard; and they have been really hard with our oldest recently, that our friends and community have loved us and just encouraged us....that they have tried to take some of the burden off of us with just words of affirmation and love......we are blessed that the Lord was gracious in putting people in our lives to encourage us to continue to move forward and trust in Him.

Thankful for so much this Friday after Thanksgiving........I'm thankful I have leftovers today!!!!!

Cary

It's a doozy!

2009-10-29T19:25:00.001-07:00

We have been home for 2 months! Our time home has been an amazing transition, not without trials but every day I look into the eyes of Wolasa "sammy" and cannot believe he is here! I cannot believe that not so long ago he was across the continent. Without a doubt I can see God's divine appointment and plucking Wolasa out and placing him in our family. He is our son! I laugh at how often I say that statement under my breath as he is running around the house screaming and chasing our girls and vice versa. He was laying on my lap one night with his head on my shoulders and as I looked around the room at my other kids, it was as if he had been with us all along. He has been carefully chosen and woven into our family! Hmmmmm, sounds very familar. All I can say is the gospel of Jesus is more crisp and clear for me. It's been very humbling to say the least. I had to share that a few weeks ago ( I’ve been meaning to share this story awhile back). I was in the middle of my Beth Moore study and she brought up adoption. She shared the story about the little boy they had with them for 7 years only to go back to his father. How much she loved this boy, their son! How it was extremely difficult with all that he brought in (an older child) but the joy they had! When folks would ask them why they adopted her response... Gods' will, and nievity. I thought the second was so great. She stated had they had known everything that this child had gone through and what he was going to bring ahead of time they would have walked away. They most likely would have said no, out of fear and disappointment. YET the LORD knew EVERYTHING that we were going to bring into HIS family. HE knew every time I was going to disobey, reject HIM, ignore HIM, turn away, and follow and yearn for my old father, the father of lies. That there would be hours, days, years that I would not attach to HIM… YET, GOD didn't care! What a picture of GRACE! HE gave up his one and only son (biological) for me..ADOPTION. Ephesians 1:5 He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His willAs I shared with Cary God's love just came flowing through, "Cary, he signed the papers anyway!" I had coffee that same week with a friend. She brought her bible study to me ( a different one) and said "I need to share this with you" As she started reading I couldn't believe it, a small paragraph written by Max Lucado talking about Adoption, everything was the same! Then at the end he stated, "He signed the papers anyway". What Joy and gratitude that brings me. I wrestled SOO much before I stepped out in faith to adopt . Lord, “what if?” fill in the blank, I asked the Lord everything and at the end of the day let go, trusted in what I ABSOLUTELY could not see or have control of. To adopt a boy from across the world. WHY? we wanted more children,yes, but the honest truth, God asked. With most of my questions unanswered, we moved forward. It was different after that, the fears came but they quickly subsided when I was quickly reminded by a confident God that we were doing the right thing. God is so faithful! Wolasa is healthy and has so much love to give! I love him! He is in love with my girls and vice versa! Caitlin and Carly’s gifts have been more cultivated in the past 2 months than in the last year. What a gift. What if I had said no…and allowed fear to paralyze me. What if I had told Cary send money instead or not have finally been willing to pray instead of telling friends 2 years ago,” adoption is great for you but not me”. I have learned so much about who I am in Christ and am being refined in so many areas because of this choice. My eyes are opened to so much more, what if I had said no? I can’t imagine if Wolasa still had to be there without a family. Will it be hard…YES, YES, YES!!! are my biological kids hard, YES, YES, YES!!

As I write this tonight I am so emotional because Cary and I are praying about adopting again. There is a girl that has been put on Cary’s heart( because he was around her over there, I didn’t get a chance to hang out with her), a girl we met back when we were there and then Cary got to see her again this last trip. We are praying for unity on the decision, whether to adopt or what ever the Lord would have us do. We are praying for clarity, clarity, clarity and if not what the Lord desires for our family. SO as I wrote everything above about Wolasa, I’m sitting here very still thinking , “uhhmmm, I need to really listen to what I just wrote” , what an eye opener because I have wrestled all over again about this girl, the same exact questions. “What if Lord? What if its’ really hard, it’s going to be! How will I do it? will the girls be ok? Will I be able to love her Lord the way she needs to be, am I capable? There is so much unknown God, I feel inadequate as it is, I struggle with feeling like a failure.” I know what God’s word says “ You can offer her ME and through ME you are capable” John 15:4-5 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
Please pray for her, It feels so incredibly selfish what I am wrestling with considering where she is right now. But I am thankful that God is taking care of her, I KNOW that she is precious in his sight, named in her mother’s womb. Luke 12:23-30 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. 24"Consider the (X)ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor (Y)barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds!
Please pray for our family as we continue to pray , pray for unity and that we would cling to HIS word for guidance. Lord thank you that you gave up your one and ONLY child for me, wow, you NEVER said “what if?” You have plenty of reasons to walk, but you made a choice Lord, to Love, committed because of your faithfulness, your word!
So now I want to share my heart regarding our trip to (I’ll make it short, if that’s possible) Theme; Apart from me. I will confess that Africa was a hard trip for me. I went there thinking I would be on fire and excited only to be rocked and robbed of joy and peace. I was overwhelmed by it all and instead of embracing, I wanted to flee. I recognize so much of my emotions were tied to getting Wolasa, but emotionally I shut down and wept every night. I struggled with Not “feeling” more compassion or empathy due to shutting down. I couldn’t go there, so my heart couldn’t open fully and experience all that God had for me. The first few weeks I was home I was really bummed out. I also realize how much I cling to comfort, I struggled with being somewhere that made me uncomfortable. I struggled with fear, irrational fear. WHAT IN THE WORLD! I just wanted to come home. What the Lord showed me during my stay was this…I came in thinking I was in a certain place with my faith only to walk away humbled to where I really was . The Lord showed me (as a dear friend reminded me) that APART FROM HIM this is who I am…fearful and insecure and clinging to life itself.
When I am yielded there is PEACE and there is a joy that comes only from the Lord. I become energized, courageous, informed of God’s sovereignty! I’m afraid I missed out on a lot of joy. As my husband encourages me, “Sarah you were faithful, you may not have felt it but you were faithful”. Yes, he is right! I was obedient to the Lords calling to adopt and I praise the Lord for the gift of our beautiful son! I was obedient and loved these kids the best I could over there. But I knew going to Africa, God wouldn’t just teach me about adoption. I can tell you this… The people of Ethiopia are beautiful! I’ve never seen so much joy! Ethiopia is a beautiful place! Over the past several weeks I’ve been processing all that I saw, in the midst of getting to know my son. Where I am today? Resting in God’s word, still processing, trusting God and what HE is doing in my heart, rocking me. I told the Lord awhile back, “give me another chance, I want to go back and experience all that you desire for me and to be your hands and feet”…I suppose HE will do just that.

A month with Wolasa

2009-10-21T14:10:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a little over a month now that our precious son has been home! Wolasa! Yes, name change but long story..quick version, he made it clear he liked his birth name more than the name we had for him so there you have it! Wolasa is precious! I cannot tell you how fun it has been! I could eat him up! Daily I am so grateful for this precious boy and daily I can visually see the gospel. Our girls LOVE him dearly and vice versa. To watch their gifts come out as they love and serve him is sweet. I am so thankful to the Lord, knowing that each day we take as they come not to be dependent on circumstances or people (which can be hard for me) I've been doing a Beth Moore study on the fruit of the spirit and it's been awesome! JOY, that's this week. TO have the kind of Joy Paul experienced throughout, in spite of his trials. I desire that! I confess that Africa was a challenging trip for me. There were so many emotions, mixed in with struggling with not being in my comfort zone. I have processed alot over the past month and know the Lord is so faithful in what HE has shown me. I desire to go back to Ethiopia soon. I do know this, we will adopt soon again. What a gift that my family has had the dear privelage of being a part of. So thankful. Just praying now over transitions and praying over my heart which STILL struggles with the fear of the unknown..I will be faithful and obedient to Christ I can promise you that, the blessings are too much, I will not turn the other way.

Update 1 from Ethiopia

2009-08-31T09:13:00.000-07:00

Hello friends! I'm updating for the Tuckers this week while they're gone and wanted to pass along the latest. They had a great trip into Dubai and then arrived yesterday in Ethiopia. The following is the email we received from Sarah this morning. Continue praying for our friends and for little Samuel.

Wanted to share first day is going really well! Sweet Samuel did not want to leave yesterday so we played and sat with him for over two hours then he was ready. He slept through the night! It's very hard trying to know what he wants so I just point alot and have learned some Amharic. Please continue to pray for us as a family. I know it is a tremendous confusion for him. I am extremely exhausted and battling fears and anxiety. The Lord has shown me alot over the past two days, very humbling. His Grace is enough and HE is bigger than me..pray for us and our girls for transition. talk to you soon!!!

sarah

TODAY

2009-08-28T03:43:00.000-07:00

We're off!!!!!!!!! See everyone in a couple weeks - thanks for your prayers for our trip, for Samuel and for our girls staying behind.

Cary

WE PASSED!!!!!!

2009-08-07T11:53:00.000-07:00

SOOOOOO excited! The Lord's timing is so sweet! Everyone please welcome our son Samuel!!! It's here! the day has come! WOW... Can't wait to see you Sammy! praying for you! Cary and I and the girls are so excited.

Oh So Close......if this were only horse shoes and hand grenades

2009-07-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

but, it's not......we did not pass court today. We are a couple steps closer though, and have a new court date of next Friday, August 7th. Please pray that the document that is needed will be back in Addis and we hopefully will have a good court approval next Friday. Thanks friends for your prayers; in the midst of just being sad that we got delayed - I want to thank the Lord for the fact some positives took place today and we truly took a few steps forward. Thankful for His hand in that - and that His timing is perfect.........but, back to the old hand grenade thing......close doesn't work in this case. So - we move on to next Friday.

Also had some good conversations with Beau and Nat today on our thoughts on bringing the girls.....I think we are both leaning towards not bringing them.....don't have the ability to have someone come with us - but, will continue to pray and process....the delay gives us another week to wrestle on that (so......there you have it...another thing to praise!).

Kidmia update......raising funds for them has gone well - excited about total amount given towards Kidmia between us all is over $6k.....way cool.

If you feel led - check out prior post and the link to give towards Kidmia and caring for other loved ones in Gunchire, Ethiopia.

Cary

KIDMIA

2009-07-18T09:08:00.000-07:00

Seeking your Support for Kidmia! I am participating in a fundraiser for Kidmia (www.kidmia.org) ...... please check them out. They are providing change in the lives of orphaned and vulnerable children in rural Ethiopia. Kidmia is providing holistic care and shelter to children in need, while being the catalyst of their adoption back into their community to gospel loving families. Kidmia is driven by a passion for Jesus Christ and a desire to see the people of Ethiopia changed by His grace.

Please click on the link below to support me as I play 50 holes of golf in the summer heat of Texas on Aug 17th to raise funds for Kidmia. Kidmia is so dear to my heart as we puruse our own adoption from Ethiopia.....thank you for supporting Kidmia and most importantly, the children of Ethiopia.

https://integritygolfsolutions.com/pledge.asp?mode=part&gid=102879

God Bless,

Cary

Update on new court date - July 30th

2009-07-18T08:58:00.000-07:00

We spoke with Mary and we have a new court date, July 30th. Thank you all for your prayers. We have a close friend, Wes Butler, who is traveling to Ethiopia right now on a trip with a bunch of singles from our church.......and he has told us that he will personally take care of everthing for us with court......so - we all can just sit back and relax.....Wes is in charge! Okay...maybe not - our good Lord is. Look forward to hearing more news - and hopeful - but, we rest assured that our Lord is working all things together for our good and for our sons good as we purpose our lives for Him.

Cary

Not looking good

2009-07-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

Well we got a phone call yesterday from Gladney letting us know that MOWA has decided to take two weeks off for some stuff(even though rainy season starts in mid august until late october). What that means is that our court date which was supposed to be next week is no longer. And now we have to wait till they reOpen to give us a new court date.. basically the odds of that happening before rainy season are grim.. I'm sad and REALLY wanted our son to come home soon. I know God is sovereign but it's still hard. I trust HIS timing but pray that it would be sooner than later. Keep us in your prayers as the future is unknown. My heart yearns for him and desire to see our boy soon. Pray for him as this means longer stay. Thankful for the Lord, choosing him and bringing him out harm into our family.

New Court Date

2009-06-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

Our new court date is July 14th....eagerly anticipating this day. We know and trust that God already has the time in hand; excited to find out when that might be. Until then, just can't wait to get to meet our little guy; the girls seem to be getting more and more excited as well.

So FUN!

2009-06-03T06:42:00.000-07:00

Well the summer is arriving! The girls last day of school is tomorrow! What a year! I look forward to this summer! Praying our court date will be soon and that we will get to travel before the summer is out. But with the time I have I plan on spending some great times with the girls! We are going to focus on and finish our Hope Lives, children's kit study! This is a wonderful story on helping our kiddos on how to respond to poverty around the world. We started it during the week when our school was shut down because of swine. Each day has amazing crafts and fun ideas to open our childrens' hearts and a fun prayer beach ball! Go to www.compassion.com
We got to go support our friends, the Butlers, last night as they came home with their son Malachi! I was teary eyed as they walked out! so excited for them and their precious son. I know it's a long road ahead but isn't all parenting :) God is so good and just to witness HIS grace continues to give me courage and a heart of thanksgiving. --Sarah

Not this time

2009-05-22T03:49:00.000-07:00

Well we got the phone call yesterday that we didn't pass this time. It's very common not to pass court due to many different reasons. We are really sad but know the Lord is in control. Please continue to pray that our son would come to us soon. We will know a new court date soon.

Friday is Court!!

2009-05-20T07:06:00.000-07:00

It has been too long, we have been horrible about keeping up with our blog! There has been much going on in our household. Speaking of stuff going on!! Court!! I'm so nervous yet hopeful to pass and go get our boy! Besides preparing his room and clothes on hangers I don't feel prepared yet I know the Lord will carry us through. I'm nervous,scared, anxious to meet him. So many questions..

God I am desperate for you and only you can give me the strength and courage I will need over the months to come. I pray for an undivided heart towards you Lord. I pray as a wife and mom that you will continue to soften my heart and chip away at the walls that still lay up in places that I desire that they didn't. I also pray for my husband, that you will continue to strengthen him and give him wisdom as a leader and father of our home. Praying my girls attach and have an understanding and flexible heart over the months to come and that most of all our son attaches and feels safe and overwhelmed with love!!!!!! WE love you!!! can't wait to come soon for you. Love your smile!! My Aunt will be coming to stay with our girls. Our plan is Dubaui, to Ethiopia.

So much this year but the Lord has been faithful and good to us! The girls are almost done with school, wow! Carly is turning 7 in another week! Cary and I get to travel together to Africa. By the way did I mention I don't like to fly? this outta be good. But I will choose today to rest in the Lord. Praying for our dear friends the Butlers as they fly out on Saturday to pick up their son!!! and Praying desperately for the Fournet Family!! For today to be the day!!!!

This year

2009-03-27T07:49:00.001-07:00

Wish you were home!

My heart Longs for you!

2009-03-27T07:35:00.000-07:00

I'm just sitting here thinking about our sweet boy. It's 5:36pm in Addis right now and I wonder what he's doing? I miss him, my heart feels void. I am so thankful for God and how HE has rescued our son and brought him to us. Lord, what do you have in store? In my struggles with control I wish I had all the answers. But I do know this, you are GOOD and perfect and you know the plans all mapped. I haven't blogged in awhile, not much to report. The girls are almost done with school in a few months;lots of changes going on with them, some encouraging others refining :) I am so grateful this year for so many things! Cary and I are continuing to do ReEngage, which is a beautiful reminder of God's love. Sweet son, we have missed you this year, but are so excited for these next few months as we come closer to grasping you in our arms. The girls are excited yet also nervous, about the same for Cary and I.. WIll you love us, will you attach? Will you know how loved you are? BUT so excited for the day when I can teach you about the Lord, the saviour whom rescues us all and adopts us into his family. Love you and miss you today.

Update and shots! ouch!!

2009-03-06T09:23:00.000-08:00

Well what a wonderful day!! We got a sweet update on our boy! So fun! He recieved our package and I have a picture of him playing with one of the cars we sent. They also said they were showing him pictures of us! his mom and daddy. Wow, words cannot express my excitement to run to him. Sweet boy, can't wait to see you soon. I was reminded today how much i cant wait, 6 shots in my arm, OUCHH!!!! i am a baby but man was it worth it. Praising the Lord today, always praising the Lord.

Court Date

2009-02-27T19:38:00.001-08:00

We just found out our court date for May 22nd. So exciting; so now we'll just wait and pray; knowing it is in His hands and we'll get to our son on His appointed day. Very, very cool that we got our date so quickly.

Precious Moments

2009-02-14T09:49:00.000-08:00

Our girls are so excited about our son! As we are too! So many different emotions but know that the Lord is in control and with that comes so much PEACE! I have learned so much already through our son and he's not even with us yet. The Lord has taught me much over the past few days! I'm blown away! Our precious girls are so excited about him coming home but they also have a lot of questions and unknowns as well. Great teaching moments on God's goodness and his will for our lives. Not of the things we ask but what HE ask's of us!! Sweet Carly drew a picture for our son that we will be sending this next week along with some other things and I wanted to post it. Thank you Lord for placing love in our girls hearts for others and already instilling a longing in them to meet their brother!!

REFERRAL REFERRAL!!!

2009-02-07T06:40:00.000-08:00

Give thanks to the Lord for HE is good, His love endures forever!! Today is my birthday and yesterday afternoon I got the greatest gift ever!!! The phone call! It's a boy! a 28 month old beautiful boy! Praising today, in awe! every emotion under the sun. God is good, He is my strength and my song! Praying for our sweet boy today and can't wait to bring him home soon! Our family is so excited!!!! I can't stop laughing, crying, and getting on my knees for everything thats' about to come. love, sarah

U2 - I Believe In Father Christmas [U2's contribution to (RED)WIRE]

2008-12-02T16:37:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was AIDS day around the world. This is U2's song to launch www.redwire.com

My Montage 11/23/08

2008-11-23T12:36:00.001-08:00

I finally did it! thanks Nat! Fun to put pictures and memories to video. ;)

What a day!

2008-11-22T13:06:00.001-08:00

All I can say is that it was a joy today. There are so many opportunities to love people. We met alot of hurting and lost people this afternoon at the Bridge. Our girls got a chance to shake hands and smile at those less fortunate. Thanks Lord for allowing us to participate, you are merciful!

WE'RE OFF!

2008-11-22T08:53:00.000-08:00

This is the day the Lord has made!! Wow, it's cold. Just a thought. Our morning has consisted of alot of selfishness, fighting about what Cartoon saturday program to watch, who get's the markers, who get's to go first..Then there's the kids, just kidding. I myself started to complain and murmur. What's the cure? Off to walmart! let's do some shopping! not for us though! God has bigger plans today! pray the Lord brings some homeless in our path today as we drive around and pray that HIS seeds will grow today. Praising the Lord, for the Joy of the Lord is my strength!! As for Carly, hang in there baby, not too much longer!!
Praying for our son today, I long for him and pray he is well. Pray he see' Jesus today through the eyes of another.

Follow up with video

2008-11-19T06:24:00.000-08:00

My heart just sinks when I watch this video yet i'm just as guilty of "feeling"the pressure to spend. As I think about what legacy I want to pass down to our girls and our son, it's that they would be fully devoted to the Lord in everything they do. Whether celebrating the the birth of Jesus Christ or walking in the grocery store that they would see to give God glory however and whenever they can! Man Lord your gonna have to really cover my sin on this one! Fill in the gaps where I fall short! I give thanks to the Lord for he is good, His love endures forever!

Praising today, praying for the orphaned,widowed, and the strangers out there! Praising God for what He is showing me this week.

Praying for our precious boy, where ever he is. It's been extremely difficult to pin point my emotions since we've been on the waiting list. Excitement when I sit still and reflect on what is about to happen. Fear of the unknown, will he attach to me? me to him? Sadness, where is he? does he have a family to hold him right now? Mourning, the loss that his parents endured or family..Inadequacy as a parent.

God is showing me alot of things right now with my parenting the girls..(search me God, know my heart) Basically how ugly my heart can be and self-centered I can be. How I can be more about serving me and less about serving others (see Philiippians 2:3-4). How my tone and words at times aren't gentle, how the patience is zapped out of me(my choice of course). Does that radiate the spirit of God? Yet I know it comes back to this truth; Deuteronomy 6:5-7 " You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which i am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up."

The first part of that scripture is where I desire to grow! to love! I am extremely disciplined. You give me a list I will do it. You give me a goal and I will seek to achieve it. I'm called to teach my girls, I am doing it. We are talking alright..Morning time, prayer, daily teachable moments with what happens at school. BUT, 1Corinthians 13 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. That is where I desire to grow and be stretched and take action! Our girls are watching every move we make. If I teach them daily the word(law) yet do not radiate the love and excitement of Christ will he be contagious?no! I praise God for how far he has brought me but see the deprivaty of how far I have to go. We met with our community group last night and asked the question, "what does it mean to be radical for Christ?" I think God speaks into each persons' life on that question if we truly ask it and if we truly want to hear the answer.

My friend Wes said this in so many words, " What we don't know is what it means to be radical for Christ, what we do know is that we are not there yet". sorry Wes if I butchered that. I just desire to live out loving the lost, loving my neighbor, loving the teachers,parents, kids at our school and exhorting Christ in our home so that our girls wouldn't want it any other way! not because they fear punishment but because they want to please their Holy Father and experiencce life and joy! and that they would want some of that! I'm not sure at times if they want some of that or if mom is exasperating them. Lord, that i would be excited about your word and your truths! That I would be obedient to love how Jesus loved, the fruit of the spirit, with humility and peace and joy. And that we would continue to serve outside our walls so that our girls and our son someday would desire to love those who are overlooked in this world. There is no other joy like serving the poor so why do I often choose comfort with my "own" family? I just started Fields of the Fatherless, this quote really hit me in a good way! "In this world you are an orphan-eagerly anticipating your adoption as God's child. In this world you are a widow-longing for reunion with your Bridegroom. In this world you are a stranger-a pilgrim waiting to become a citizen of heaven. And in this world, God has called you to care for the orphan,the stranger, and the widow." Lot's of stuff here, lot's of conviction. Lord you are using this waiting period to grow me like never before. Pray you have a blessed day. Love, Sarah

Advent Conspiracy Promo Video

2008-11-19T06:23:00.001-08:00

This has really got me thinking not only for this time of year but throughout the year.

Let the Waiting Begin

2008-10-02T16:59:00.001-07:00

We are officially on the wait list for our little boy......22 months - 33 months to be exact. We are so, so excited....yet, I think also a bit numb to the fact that we are this far along so quickly. Can't wait to get to Ethiopia and see our son, and for our girls to meet their brother.

One step closer

2008-09-23T17:06:00.000-07:00

We received our CIS approval in the mail today......so exciting. One more big step taken....and after just a little more paperwork - it seems that we are down to the waiting....to be on the waiting list....and then waiting some more. But, I must say, I'm pretty stoked that I am done with paperwork!

Praise to the Lord, for He is good....and He is in complete control 100% of the time....and He is good.

Another step forward!

2008-09-19T11:49:00.000-07:00

So exciting! We got news that all of our dossier documents have been authenticated (who knows what that means) without any glitches!! All we are waiting for is our CIS approval notice then we fed ex that and we are done!! Next step would be waiting list :) We have began to decorate our son's room! Next job, painting furniture!

First day of School!

2008-08-25T07:11:00.000-07:00

Lord, they are in your hands! I feel like an empty nester (nope my girls did not go off to college today). Cary and I took our girls to their first day of school, 5 days a week ( i have been homeschooling). Caitlin was nervous and quiet until she got to school and saw some friends. Carly was teary eyed when I dropped her off. Mommy and Daddy were just trying to survive through the hallways of chaos. :) Kids everywhere. I have been pretty emotional all week. Looking back remembering them as babies. The toddler years and all that came with that. Eight years with my babies and today I dropped off my 1st and 2nd grader to a new season of life. Lord i know you have so much to teach us this year. I know challenges will come and circumstances will be difficult at times, yet i know that ultimately I can rejoice regardless. I know that you will teach us through many events and that my girls will have an opportunity to grow, be stretched, learn from mistakes, and to be salt and light.

Thank you Lord for the peace I have today, for guiding every step of this process. And the great reminders that ultimately our girls character will be shaped by what we teach them and that the teachers and the school are the educators alone. To those who believe that the school has more influence I would disagree. A quote from the book, 'Going Public', "The number of hours we get with our children compared to the classroom.. A student spends around 6.5 hours in school multiplied by 180 school days per year, that's 1,170 hours over a years time. Meanwhile, parents have access to the other 9.5 waking hours of the school day, plus all the weekends, holidays and assorted vacations, including summer- a grand total of 4,670 hours per year. Do the math: School recieves 20 percent of the "time pie", while parents control the other 80 %."

God is good. One day at a time. And I'll enjoy this small season until our son comes home and then start again :) Praising the Lord in all his glory and wisdom! Praising the gift of motherhood. Acknowledging I can do nothing on my own and that all Cary and I can do is continue to point our girls to Christ, the choice is theirs, in every decision they make, the consequence (good or bad) is ours to give.

Fingerprints and More

2008-08-17T19:38:00.000-07:00

We have some exciting updates. We have received our home study approval! We have also received our form back from Homeland Security to go get our fingerprints for the I600A. We also have sent in our fingerprints for the FBI background checks. So - all in all; we have made a ton of progress. Our friends who have gone through this tell us that hopefully all will be going for us and we'll have our son spring to summer of 2009. Very exciting. Another exciting event that has taken place (pictures to come) is that a few of us that went to Africa together on discipleship trip have gotten tattoo's. Very fun stuff. I'm sure a few raised eyebrows.....but, it was a blast getting it with my beautiful bride in Austin on sixth street and hanging with my friends in Dallas doing the same.

More updates to come.

Gratitude

2008-07-11T11:49:00.000-07:00

Lord, I'm so thankful. I'm so excited to share that we're closer to getting the shirts done! The girls and I applied for our passports, most of our paperwork is done (waiting on FBI prints). All I can think about is our child(ren) coming home! On our trip to Iowa, Cary and I had some wonderful time together (while the girls were at camp) talking about the Lord's Sovereignty and goodness. It has been a theme every since. A dear friend gave me a cd from John Piper on God's Sovereignty, my morning time; the Lord continues' to show me in the bible where God's goodness and Sovereignty is the theme throughout, pretty much anywhere I'm reading. As I continue to seek this truth, my heart is full of joy and peace. This morning I was reading Philippians 1. I truly think Paul is the man! His continued peace, even in the midst of imprisonment, yet spiritually he was free. In verse, 21 he says, " For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain". Wow I have been thinking about that verse through out the day. Paul had absolute Joy, nothing rocked his world, his eyes were on the kingdom alone therefore his joy was deep abiding, everlasting. His entire focus and desire was for the Lord, yet even if his life were to be taken(which eventually was) he looked at it as gain, life forever with Jesus! Talking about an attitude of gratitude. My desire is to thirst for the Lord to pursue him deeply and that my actions would be out of a response, pure and sincere! I truly believe gratitude, as I meditate on it daily, being thankful for the grace of God in my life in all things, that I wouldn't be able to hold back,to give back, to serve back, love back, to anyone! Lord, that in all and every circumstance that i would be in deep gratitude, in good times that i would never take for granted all and everything and that in hard trials I would look upon them as if a privelage and an opportunity to grow and glorify you! Praying for my children today, thankful for the grace that you continue to bestow upon us all. Can't wait to bring our new addition(s) home, to teach them about you, that they may know you in all your limitless love with no boundaries!!

Adoption Journey

2008-07-04T18:21:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July everyone!

We continue to make progress on our adoption....lot's of paperwork getting done....and we have made one more step today. Our good friend Jon Flaming designed the logo to the right (the Adopted/Adopt Cross) after we shared our hearts with him. It is really neat seeing how God gifts people so differently. Best case scenario, I could have come up with a stick figure....maybe.

So, if you are interested in some shirts or hats for your own wear, or gifts for your favorite friends and coworkers...and loved ones and neighbors and people walking along the street...let us know! We'll start posting some pics of shirts and hats once they become available - hopefully in the next few weeks to month.

Thanks friends.

Cary & Sarah

Amazing!

2008-06-01T17:04:00.000-07:00

Words cannot express the privelage I experienced in having the kidney transplant surgery! God is so good, thanks for all your continued prayers as Angi and I continue to recover. Angi is doing well! I am resting well. The body of Christ has truly surrounded us and loved us through meals and taking care of the girls; my heart is full. The amount of joy before surgery and after is indescribable, words fail to describe what I witnessed and the joy in other folks who took part in hanging out at the hospital before/during/after surgery was fun to witness. God has given me much and to HIM I am grateful. Praising the Lord for my husband who has stepped up huge and taken the task of mommy for two weeks! Praying for my sweet friend as she continues to heal!

Kidney Surgery

2008-05-19T17:29:00.001-07:00

The kidney transplant has gone well. Sarah (donor) is doing great.....very sleepy so far. Angi (recipient) seems to be doing well. We are all so excited about the fact that the kidney began working immediately in Angi. Praying now for acceptance by her body. She is very sweet; and I'm thankful that Sarah had an opportunity to participate in such an awesome event and blessing.

thank you friends and family who have been praying for everyone.

Cary

Lot's of Exciting stuff!

2008-05-14T16:36:00.000-07:00

Well for Mothers' day we went to Six Flags, as the Tuckers' would do, we got there when it opened and left the park when it closed :) What a wonderful to spend the day, Caitlin and Carly had so much fun! We also finished another year of school! I'm so proud of the girls, they truly worked so hard! I cannot believe they are now 1st and 2nd graders! WOW!! Tonight, Cary is sitting at the table and beginning the paper work! lot's and lot's of paper work :) I'm about to join in on the fun. It seems so far away, I can't wait to see our child in the near future, to be apart of our family and to be able to be apart of the wonderful memories that I feel so blessed to be apart of! God is so good, I am so thankful. Praying for our child today. Thanking the Lord for the children we have, what a gift!

FUNNY!

2008-04-29T15:41:00.001-07:00

Can i get this right?? below was written by me, not above :) Cary is shaking his head right now, I just know it.. blogging is hard work.

Oops-see above

2008-04-29T15:22:00.001-07:00

Sorry about that, above was written by me, although I know Cary would agree with everything i said :)

Meeting Faith

2008-04-29T14:28:00.000-07:00

Lord,

Thank you for today. I had the privilege of watching a group of orphans from Uganda dance at our local Macy's. They call themselves, "The Spirit of Uganda", a group that travels the country dancing and then returning to their country to finish school. Lord, I did not know you would touch my heart today the way you have. The moment these children (ages 8-19) began dancing, and the boys began playing the drums I could barely hold it together. So many emotions, wondering what their life is like at home, what parent, if not both, killed to AIDS. I couldn't possibly know what they've experienced, yet there they were, dancing ,singing, smiling; an unexplainable joy.

But as tears came down my face, I tried to look in as many eyes as I could and say thank you with just a smile. Thank you for blessing me today. God's grace staring me in the face, such irony in the midst of wallet size purses the price of a steak dinner for two at a five star restaurant. I got to meet many of these sweet children afterwards and had them sign a book about orphans that I purchased. At first I asked myself, why would I have them sign this? am i wanting to glorify what they have been through? NO!! I want to remember!! Lord thank you for giving me that gift today, to remind me of the joy of knowing you, no matter what life brings my way( a perspective that is nothing in comparison to the orphans of Africa). Yep I hurt, I have pain, but the reality is, I have been given a life of luxury, I'm fed, I'm clothed, I live in a middle class home with a pool. Who's got it down more? who really gets joy? the most purest form, to have nothing yet to be joyful, to be able to smile.. My emotions are raw as I think about them, yet hopeful that they will know the Lord, if not already and be able to continue to be a voice for Africa.

As they had a intermission, a young 16 year old approached me and said hello and proceeded to hug me, her name was Faith. "Hello Faith" I said, What a sweet picture, as if God himself handed her to me to meet. A reminder of why Cary and I are pursuing a precious child across the world, our Faith. I left and picked up my girls from their private school, chuckled as we drove home, listening to them complain about being hot, thirsty, wanting a play date, wanting to swim in our pool. As I sent one to her room when we got home and the other to get her bathing suit, I got to reflect on today. As I watched my sweet young child swim, pretending to be mermaid, not a care in the world, glowing with a sense of security even though she doesn't even know it or can speak of it. I get it, I see it, she is deeply loved, her needs are met, even though she complains often. The true gift that my girls have received is the gift of knowing Jesus Christ, staring at Carly and reflecting on sweet Caitlin in time out, since day one, all they have heard come from our lips is about the Lord. Some day I know that they will understand that privilege and they will respond. I thank you Lord for the opportunity you have given us! The privilege of allowing us to parent another child, to love them, to care for them, to teach them your ways! I see your love for your children and it is intoxicating, I grasp your love for me, adopting me! Thank you for using me! I pray that our girls would understand your Grace more and more and that they would be grateful for what they have instead of complaining about that which they don't have..oh wait, i pray that for me too!

Ethiopia It Is!

2008-04-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

We both have felt just a wonderful sense of peace about Ethiopia - and after some really great conversations with some friends who have adopted already (thanks David and Garth); gave us both some further clarity on the decisions that we have to make. So - we are very clear on Ethiopia....just in case it wasn't obvious from the Ethiopia flag to the time clock! We will be awaiting the clarity on sex and gender. It seems we both feel like it would be great to start with one child and see where God leads us to after that. Who knows....maybe another country in Africa, like Rwanda, or another child in Ethiopia. It is really just fun to think about it - with no stress knowing that God already does know.

Cary

WOW!

2008-04-23T15:04:00.000-07:00

Here we go!! I'm so excited! I couldn't agree more with my sweet husband! There are so many thoughts going on through my head yet continuing to turn it all over to the Lord. Praising the Lord for what HE is doing. As we are being led in this direction I am being sifted like crazy. Amazing how the Lord can multi-task the way HE can. Thankful, praising the Lord today. Yes, i'm a bit anxious about all the paperwork, Cary it's all you babe :)

Sent off initial information to Gladney

2008-04-23T12:07:00.000-07:00

I sent to Gladney our information sheet today.....very strange; I'm walking back from the post office, where I paid extra to get the info to Gladney hopefully no later than Friday, and as I'm walking back to my office, my stomach is really upset.......I'm nervous that something could happen to slow or delay or stop our adoption......man, this is weird. I go from saying "no way" to adoption no less than a year ago....to, now, "please God, don't let anything get in the way of our adoption". Thank you Lord for pursuing me.....as I once said "no" to You, and you graciously and lovingly moved in my heart to a "yes" to You. Thank you for doing that to me - and for our child(ren) that await us.....please, Lord, if it is your will, that this process would lead us to an adoption of a beatiful child(ren) of Yours......oh - and can you do it smoothly and quickly?.....if it is Your wil! Thank you for adopting us into your family through your Son!

Sharing with Family & Friends

2008-04-20T16:23:00.001-07:00

We have now shared with a few people....but, we figured, that we would also use the blog as a means of communicating with others - and for future communication.

So, Sarah and I went to Gladney on Saturday - and really continue to have a tremendous amount of peace and conviction about what the Lord is leading us to.

Yes - we are starting the adoption process. What we are now praying about - and asking for is further clarity on country or for the Lord to make it evident if He wants another country (we believe it is Ethiopia).....it is 100% Africa - the only other option would be Rwanda - however, the country is new - and were not sure we want to be on the front end of the adoptions there. Also - praying for clarity on age and sex.

Thank you friends for praying for us - and with us - praying for our child, that is most likely already in an orphanage as I write....and praying that he/she would be cared for and loved...and given a sense of peace by the Lord that he/she will be coming to a family that will love them shortly.

thank you friends and family. We shared with my mom and dad yesterday - and so thankful for their loving and gracious response......thank you Mom and Dad!

Cary

First Post

2008-04-16T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well, this is my first post to our new blog. We'll see how this goes. A lot going on in the Tucker world right now. We are walking through a bunch of really cool things:

1) Sarah is in the process of donating her kidney to a sweet friend from college
2) We are getting set for a fun summer that involves a church camp, sports camp, and hopefully, lots of swimming.
3) Sarah and I are having lots of discussions on the topic of international adoptions....and enjoying the discussions A LOT.
4) I continue to think a lot about my recent trip to Africa and what I learned about myself and about God.

That's it for now!