Update: Adoption

Okay....we definitely are not very good at keeping our blog updated. We are back into full swing with school after a great Christmas time up in Wisconsin....Sarah will post a video of our trip later.

Sarah and I are really excited about our next step. We have made the decision after much prayer and processing to start our next adoption. As I previously mentioned on our last blog, we have been praying about a girl that we met while in Addis Ababa picking up Wolasa. We have made the decision to move forward and begin the paperwork process of that adoption.

Please be praying for this.....we basically on starting the paperwork process all over again. Please pray that the process would go as quickly as possible....you still have to go through all the same steps as before - but, hopefully, it will only be a year out or so. I'm optimistic that it will be quicker.

I was sharing with this Sarah this morning and the guys in my community group later that I was really overtaken by my thoughts......."wow, Lord, I can't believe how blessed I feel like I am, I just won the lottery getting the privilige to go and adopt".

I have no idea what is going to happen from here on out. There are so many things that can happen in a process like this; I trust God that whatever does happen, I know that our hearts in starting this is to glorify Him. I trust that He loves us. I trust that He loves our daughter on the other side of the world. I trust Him that if things are really hard some day, that He loves us, and that all of this still glorifies Him.

Look forward to keeping you up to date on this process as we move forward and once we get through all of our paperwork, and God willing, get matched.

Cary

Thanksgiving

We are celebrating a wonderful Thanksgiving this year...and there is truly so much to be thankful for. I am so thankful that the Lord has been kind and gracious and blessed us with His presence in our lives. We don't always "feel" blessed....with circumstances that tend to just continually be up and down like a roller coaster; but, beyond our feelings.....the truth is evident.....we are blessed because we have a Father that was and is willing to sacrifice it all for us to have a relationship with Him.....that through Christ, we can be found righteous, and have confidence of an eternal life with Him....one that we cannot see today, but, hope in with confidence. That is a blessing indeed.....something that is solid rock.

We are blessed because we are celebrating Thanksgiving with my parents this year and celebrating Thanksgiving for the first year with our son, Wolasa....also sometimes known as Sammy.

We are blessed to get the priviledge of raising three children - Caitlin, Carly and Wolasa. Many people talk about "how lucky or blessed" Wolasa is because of our adoption....it is funny - before we adopted Wolasa I would respond..."well, we are the lucky ones".....I meant it - but, didn't really know if that was true.....I had enough fears inside of me about the unknown of it all - I really "hoped" that was true...but, didn't know for sure.

Having Wolasa home for now almost three months....it really is true. We are the blessed ones...because it is amazing to just see how God is so kind and gracious to give me a love for my son that I wouldn't really think possible. Now.....we are just getting started....and I don't "feel" very loving often....I don't really want to do somethings....but, I have continued to love Wolasa the best that I can...which is through my actions of treating him how I would want to be treated....and through this, my feelings are also starting to follow.

That is a blessing......a blessing that gives me a glimpse of how much God, our Father, loves me.

So much to be thankful for.

I am also so thankful for Sarah. I have a bride that is so good to me.....she has stuck with me through many trials....and has been so faithful through the years. She is honest when she struggles...and that helps me to struggle better with my own issues.. She also allows me to lead our family......that is a blessing indeed. Being able to lead my family really is a joy....knowing that I'm not in a competition with Sarah, knowing that I have the room and freedom to lead.....allows me to truly think long and hard about how well I am leading.....and how well, more importantly, am I serving. I am blessed to know that the best way I can lead my family is to serve them. Thank you Lord for being gracious in showing me this......please help me remember this!

I am thankful for my two girls....they are precious and teach me much. I am thankful that they are so spirited, I am thankful that they have kind hearts.....I am thankful that we get the opportunity to sharpen them...point them to Christ, and trust in Him along the way. We are definitely in a phase right now where things are hard....but, as I have recently been meditating on some Psalms....I know where my trust needs to be.....not in how well things go for my girls.....but, in the fact that my Lord is good, He loves them more than I do, He is aware of everything that is to come.....and He promises us to be in our midst......that He will be singing over us.......that is comforting to know......Help me Lord to remember this....for when I do....I know we are blessed.....and I am thankful for You.

I am thankful that there is a little girl on another side of an ocean that I really care about. I don't really know why this little girl, but, I do. I'm thankful that I get to pray for her, and I am thankful that she is in an orphanage and not where she was before. I am thankful that Sarah and I are both praying for her....and thankful that we are both open to adopting her. I really count it as a blessing that we can even process this.....that we even want to process this. I am thankful for Gladney....and how they are helping us process this sweet little girl.

I am thankful for community. We are surrounded by friends that love us....and are our family here in Dallas. I'm thankful that our friends point us back to the truth of who Christ is in the midst of life....I'm thankful that when some things are just plain hard; and they have been really hard with our oldest recently, that our friends and community have loved us and just encouraged us....that they have tried to take some of the burden off of us with just words of affirmation and love......we are blessed that the Lord was gracious in putting people in our lives to encourage us to continue to move forward and trust in Him.

Thankful for so much this Friday after Thanksgiving........I'm thankful I have leftovers today!!!!!

Cary

It's a doozy!

We have been home for 2 months! Our time home has been an amazing transition, not without trials but every day I look into the eyes of Wolasa "sammy" and cannot believe he is here! I cannot believe that not so long ago he was across the continent. Without a doubt I can see God's divine appointment and plucking Wolasa out and placing him in our family. He is our son! I laugh at how often I say that statement under my breath as he is running around the house screaming and chasing our girls and vice versa. He was laying on my lap one night with his head on my shoulders and as I looked around the room at my other kids, it was as if he had been with us all along. He has been carefully chosen and woven into our family! Hmmmmm, sounds very familar. All I can say is the gospel of Jesus is more crisp and clear for me. It's been very humbling to say the least. I had to share that a few weeks ago ( I’ve been meaning to share this story awhile back). I was in the middle of my Beth Moore study and she brought up adoption. She shared the story about the little boy they had with them for 7 years only to go back to his father. How much she loved this boy, their son! How it was extremely difficult with all that he brought in (an older child) but the joy they had! When folks would ask them why they adopted her response... Gods' will, and nievity. I thought the second was so great. She stated had they had known everything that this child had gone through and what he was going to bring ahead of time they would have walked away. They most likely would have said no, out of fear and disappointment. YET the LORD knew EVERYTHING that we were going to bring into HIS family. HE knew every time I was going to disobey, reject HIM, ignore HIM, turn away, and follow and yearn for my old father, the father of lies. That there would be hours, days, years that I would not attach to HIM… YET, GOD didn't care! What a picture of GRACE! HE gave up his one and only son (biological) for me..ADOPTION. Ephesians 1:5 He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His willAs I shared with Cary God's love just came flowing through, "Cary, he signed the papers anyway!" I had coffee that same week with a friend. She brought her bible study to me ( a different one) and said "I need to share this with you" As she started reading I couldn't believe it, a small paragraph written by Max Lucado talking about Adoption, everything was the same! Then at the end he stated, "He signed the papers anyway". What Joy and gratitude that brings me. I wrestled SOO much before I stepped out in faith to adopt . Lord, “what if?” fill in the blank, I asked the Lord everything and at the end of the day let go, trusted in what I ABSOLUTELY could not see or have control of. To adopt a boy from across the world. WHY? we wanted more children,yes, but the honest truth, God asked. With most of my questions unanswered, we moved forward. It was different after that, the fears came but they quickly subsided when I was quickly reminded by a confident God that we were doing the right thing. God is so faithful! Wolasa is healthy and has so much love to give! I love him! He is in love with my girls and vice versa! Caitlin and Carly’s gifts have been more cultivated in the past 2 months than in the last year. What a gift. What if I had said no…and allowed fear to paralyze me. What if I had told Cary send money instead or not have finally been willing to pray instead of telling friends 2 years ago,” adoption is great for you but not me”. I have learned so much about who I am in Christ and am being refined in so many areas because of this choice. My eyes are opened to so much more, what if I had said no? I can’t imagine if Wolasa still had to be there without a family. Will it be hard…YES, YES, YES!!! are my biological kids hard, YES, YES, YES!!

As I write this tonight I am so emotional because Cary and I are praying about adopting again. There is a girl that has been put on Cary’s heart( because he was around her over there, I didn’t get a chance to hang out with her), a girl we met back when we were there and then Cary got to see her again this last trip. We are praying for unity on the decision, whether to adopt or what ever the Lord would have us do. We are praying for clarity, clarity, clarity and if not what the Lord desires for our family. SO as I wrote everything above about Wolasa, I’m sitting here very still thinking , “uhhmmm, I need to really listen to what I just wrote” , what an eye opener because I have wrestled all over again about this girl, the same exact questions. “What if Lord? What if its’ really hard, it’s going to be! How will I do it? will the girls be ok? Will I be able to love her Lord the way she needs to be, am I capable? There is so much unknown God, I feel inadequate as it is, I struggle with feeling like a failure.” I know what God’s word says “ You can offer her ME and through ME you are capable” John 15:4-5 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
Please pray for her, It feels so incredibly selfish what I am wrestling with considering where she is right now. But I am thankful that God is taking care of her, I KNOW that she is precious in his sight, named in her mother’s womb. Luke 12:23-30 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. 24"Consider the (X)ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor (Y)barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds!
Please pray for our family as we continue to pray , pray for unity and that we would cling to HIS word for guidance. Lord thank you that you gave up your one and ONLY child for me, wow, you NEVER said “what if?” You have plenty of reasons to walk, but you made a choice Lord, to Love, committed because of your faithfulness, your word!
So now I want to share my heart regarding our trip to (I’ll make it short, if that’s possible) Theme; Apart from me. I will confess that Africa was a hard trip for me. I went there thinking I would be on fire and excited only to be rocked and robbed of joy and peace. I was overwhelmed by it all and instead of embracing, I wanted to flee. I recognize so much of my emotions were tied to getting Wolasa, but emotionally I shut down and wept every night. I struggled with Not “feeling” more compassion or empathy due to shutting down. I couldn’t go there, so my heart couldn’t open fully and experience all that God had for me. The first few weeks I was home I was really bummed out. I also realize how much I cling to comfort, I struggled with being somewhere that made me uncomfortable. I struggled with fear, irrational fear. WHAT IN THE WORLD! I just wanted to come home. What the Lord showed me during my stay was this…I came in thinking I was in a certain place with my faith only to walk away humbled to where I really was . The Lord showed me (as a dear friend reminded me) that APART FROM HIM this is who I am…fearful and insecure and clinging to life itself.
When I am yielded there is PEACE and there is a joy that comes only from the Lord. I become energized, courageous, informed of God’s sovereignty! I’m afraid I missed out on a lot of joy. As my husband encourages me, “Sarah you were faithful, you may not have felt it but you were faithful”. Yes, he is right! I was obedient to the Lords calling to adopt and I praise the Lord for the gift of our beautiful son! I was obedient and loved these kids the best I could over there. But I knew going to Africa, God wouldn’t just teach me about adoption. I can tell you this… The people of Ethiopia are beautiful! I’ve never seen so much joy! Ethiopia is a beautiful place! Over the past several weeks I’ve been processing all that I saw, in the midst of getting to know my son. Where I am today? Resting in God’s word, still processing, trusting God and what HE is doing in my heart, rocking me. I told the Lord awhile back, “give me another chance, I want to go back and experience all that you desire for me and to be your hands and feet”…I suppose HE will do just that.

A month with Wolasa

Well it's been a little over a month now that our precious son has been home! Wolasa! Yes, name change but long story..quick version, he made it clear he liked his birth name more than the name we had for him so there you have it! Wolasa is precious! I cannot tell you how fun it has been! I could eat him up! Daily I am so grateful for this precious boy and daily I can visually see the gospel. Our girls LOVE him dearly and vice versa. To watch their gifts come out as they love and serve him is sweet. I am so thankful to the Lord, knowing that each day we take as they come not to be dependent on circumstances or people (which can be hard for me) I've been doing a Beth Moore study on the fruit of the spirit and it's been awesome! JOY, that's this week. TO have the kind of Joy Paul experienced throughout, in spite of his trials. I desire that! I confess that Africa was a challenging trip for me. There were so many emotions, mixed in with struggling with not being in my comfort zone. I have processed alot over the past month and know the Lord is so faithful in what HE has shown me. I desire to go back to Ethiopia soon. I do know this, we will adopt soon again. What a gift that my family has had the dear privelage of being a part of. So thankful. Just praying now over transitions and praying over my heart which STILL struggles with the fear of the unknown..I will be faithful and obedient to Christ I can promise you that, the blessings are too much, I will not turn the other way.

Update 1 from Ethiopia

Hello friends! I'm updating for the Tuckers this week while they're gone and wanted to pass along the latest. They had a great trip into Dubai and then arrived yesterday in Ethiopia. The following is the email we received from Sarah this morning. Continue praying for our friends and for little Samuel.

Wanted to share first day is going really well! Sweet Samuel did not want to leave yesterday so we played and sat with him for over two hours then he was ready. He slept through the night! It's very hard trying to know what he wants so I just point alot and have learned some Amharic. Please continue to pray for us as a family. I know it is a tremendous confusion for him. I am extremely exhausted and battling fears and anxiety. The Lord has shown me alot over the past two days, very humbling. His Grace is enough and HE is bigger than me..pray for us and our girls for transition. talk to you soon!!!

sarah

TODAY

We're off!!!!!!!!! See everyone in a couple weeks - thanks for your prayers for our trip, for Samuel and for our girls staying behind.

Cary

WE PASSED!!!!!!

SOOOOOO excited! The Lord's timing is so sweet! Everyone please welcome our son Samuel!!! It's here! the day has come! WOW... Can't wait to see you Sammy! praying for you! Cary and I and the girls are so excited.