Habesha & Farenji

We have been home now for just about 5 days and its been a good start. We have had the very normal things like just trying to communicate (ie: point, grunt, growl, smile, laugh, gigle and point again). Yes, this is with our 9 year old...in return, we get a few giggles, a few raised eyebrows, a few sighs and the raising of eyebrows, a few "no's", and a few "i'll just ignore whatever it is you maybe just said" looks.

Today was a good one though for Sarah....and I got a neat moment too. For bedtime, Sarah got a hug and a kiss goodnight! For me earlier, we were "talking" --- and I said something to the effect to Rediet that I was habesha (ethiopian).....she laughed, and said, "no, farenji". I responded, "no, habesha"..........this was my fun thing to do in ethiopia.......I don't think I fooled anyone, but, enjoyed telling them I was not farenji, I was habesha. Anyways, I pointed to Sarah and Rediet said, "Farenji". I went and found our amharic book and pointed to her (habesha), me (farenji), and Sarah (farenji)..........and then said in amharic "family". Rediet smiled.

So, if the next 5 days are hard; I'll try and remember tonight.....that was fun. I could imagine...in a really small way, that is most definitely the way the Lord envisioned the way we would interact and care for each other.......habesha and farenji.........one family. black, white, hispanic,.....you name it.........one family; one Father in Heaven; one Son; one Holy Spirit......all in one.........one family. Thankful we get to be a part of His family........how wonderful is He; we are not only "farenji" --- "foreigners" compared to Him.......we don't even deserve to get to look at Him; yet, through His Son, we are one with Him, we are no longer "farenji"......we are family.

I had lunch today with a friend.....and talked about how adoption impacts me probably more than it ever will Rediet or Wolasa.......tonight is a good example.....I was reminded of His goodness through a simple conversation of habesha and farenji.....and reminded of what He has done so that I could be part of His family.....an heir with full rights......just like Rediet and Wolasa are today in my family.

Cary

RedietEthiopia

It's down to one trip

When we got home just about a year ago with our son Wolasa, I did not think we would be back quite so quickly. Having met Rediet on our first trip and then having a chance to see her again on another trip, I thought we could possibly adopt her, but, didn't really think if we did that it would happen so fast. Well, just 6 months into the process the second go round...and here we are....down to one last trip. I filled out the forms to take with us, we've got our plane tickets and now its just waiting till next Friday comes.

This is no doubt not without some anxieties and fears.....fears for each of us involved. We have had good friends go through the older adoptions and it's been really hard. I definitely admit and acknowledge that I'm really hopeful that God will be gracious to all of us in this transition. We certainly feel like He has been with Wolasa. I hope that our girls will all get along; I hope that Wolasa will not feel completely outnumbered and overwhelmed by three sisters; I hope that our kids will really, really understand some day why we have done this.........that they will truly know that our desire to love the Lord and follow Him was reason enough....that they will not only know why but also be thankful. None of that may come soon, but, I do pray that it comes.


So thankful that I have a bride that is a great partner in this....I know she bears most of the load during the days. Thankful that we are on the same page, that we are yoked together to the Lord and that we can remind each other each day to keep Him at the center and to trust in Him. Lord, we trust in You.....thank you for today, thank you for also the day that we bring our daughter home, and thank you for the strength that you'll give us, the peace that I know you provide. Thank you for the many blessings in our lives.

CT

Our newest addition....Rediet Tucker

It has been a crazy week......and it is late after just getting back from Ethiopia. We have passed court and have our 2nd trip planned for Aug 13 to Aug 20 to go pick up Rediet. We had a great time with her this last week, all three of our girls. An amazing trip and so thankful that Rediet is now officially our daughter.

Cary and Sarah......exhausted from 30+ hours of travel and very little sleep.

Addis ----- Here we come! Oh yeah....in 7 days!

Well......I truly believe God is in control...sometimes things happen that re-affirm that; sometimes things happen that cause me to trust in Him and trust in the things that I cannot see....but that I hope in and believe.

Yesterday and today were a couple of days where we got to see the part of His control....and boy is it sweet.

We are heading to Addis for our court date for our "R"....we can't wait to see you honey. We have MOWA and our Court date on July 27.

Prayers for a success on both ends and hopefully by end of August, she will be back with us.

So amazing...didn't expect till after rainy season ---- so excited, so much to do. Just bought 4 tickets.....ouch! Can't wait for our daughters to meet "R" and for them to see Ethiopia and hang out with our good friend Solomon while we are there.

Also hope to see Aschalew (director of Kidmia, www.kidmia.org) while we are there.

Praise the Lord. I know He is GREAT without a court date.....but, HE is GREAT with the court date...

Cary

I71H Approval

We received our immigration approval today! So, what that means for us is that we get one more document notarized tomorrow....and I think the paperwork is done for quite some time. More importantly though....what that really means is that we get to get started of having our documents sent to Ethiopia and getting a court date scheduled. It would be a miracle to beat the rainy season....so, our expectations are for October timeframe...but it would be wonderful to go early. We can't wait to let our sweet girl know about her family and the to start sending pics and stuff....but, that all will have to wait till the process moves along further.

We have also been really encouraged by the process that Gladney has been walking us through. They recently launched a program called Pathways, a program designed to help families in the adoption of older children. We've been meeting quite a bit with our case worker, Amy, and really walking through a ton of issues. So thankful that the Lord has provided this resource for us and that we are surrounded by so many people from Gladney and our church body, Watermark, that has a heart for the orphaned and vulnerable children. (www.gladney.org)

Lastly, there has been a ton going on with Kidmia these days. Our new in country direction, Ato Aschalew, has been amazing. The Lord was very gracious in providing someone like Aschalew to lead Kidmia. We are now caring for over 50 kids (25 on site and 25 off site in the community). We also have a friend going over in the next week and will be capturing photos and video for us....can't wait to update everyone. (www.kidmia.org)

Referral!!

Two days ago we received our referral for our daughter! Although still have some paper work due, we have been officially matched to her! So exciting, so many emotions..again! I'm doing a study on Ester,which the timing is amazing! not only was she an orphan who the Lord used big time in spite of her losses (which were many), she also was challenged to step up when a comfortable life would have been much easier! See Ester 4. As I think about the calling to adopt and what I too have wrestled with I love how Beth Moore challenged me through God's word and I pray it would challenge others. It gives me a drive to pray for those who are sitting on the fence with adoption and for those who ignore the calling altogether. She states:

"Sometimes we fear that fighting for what is right will kill us. Then again, it occurs to us that to stand by and do nothing out of self-preservation is to be dead already."

"At some point the hardest times in my life, I have been able to make the more difficult choice out of pure blind-eyed, bent-kneed acceptance that it was somehow part of a greater plan. I was beaten by a conviction that throbbed relentlessly against my strong self-centeredness. As much as my flesh wanted relief, i knew that when all was said and done, I'd sit on that side of glory having much rather fulfilled my calling than served myself all the way to meaninglessness. I had to accept that I was not called to an easy life. I was called to a purposeful life." AMEN!!!!

"Failure to decide brings personal loss and misses the opportunity to fulfill God's purposes. Failure to decide is to decide on failure"..

Now she wasn't talking about Adoption but she was talking about Ester who at a critical moment could sit in her nest of comfort or choose to step out in faith and do something, God's purpose for her, even if she perished. (Even if it didn't turn out the way she hoped)

Sarah

Motherhood

Today I sit here so blessed, beyond anything I EVER thought was possible. Yet I know the best is yet to come. Not here of course, so until then I will seek to live in gratitude and humility for ALL the Lord has done and will continue to do. A common theme in my life is that the Lord has used the most painful of circumstances to mold me, refine me but ultimately giving me the gift of complete abundance and satisfaction. Not from what the world says is satisfactory (smart kids, big home, nice car,etc..)but in peace and unexplainable joy that would seem crazy to those looking in at our life. A peace which only comes from not focusing on the external but the eternal Jesus Christ! John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Do I have it down? NO..It's been a continued to process that I desire to grow daily in the way I live and do. This is where the children come in. God has absolutey used my children to refine me, Yes, I am there for them but to not celebrate that the Lord uses our children to refine us(if we let Him) would be to not reckonize the invisible hand and providence of God. I never knew how selfish I was (outside of marriage) until I had kids. I also never realized how controlling I can be until I get anxious and upset that my kids are'nt doing what I ask of them or teach them. I am so grateful that the Lord has revealed to and grown me (still in training) that my part is to train them in the way they should go, to reproof, discpline, love.... The rest is God's..He knows,He already has their days set and numbered. I may not get the results I desire for them but I can know that I was faithful.

How much pressure I can put on myself that because they are not getting it,or that they have made bad choices that I am failing as a mom. HOGWASH! There has been so much peace in knowing and accepting that my kids are seperate from me. I am responsible to them not for them. They are accountable to making their own choices ( I can't control that) but they cannot control thier consequences. My part is to love them and when they fail to follow through with love and truth, not uuhhhhhhh, you did it again, when will you learn mentality. I'm still learning! I still sin daily! born that way,no way out accept accepting the gift of Christ love! but i know that when I start to get critical of them.. Jesus could write much in the sand. Do i want to force my childrens' hand in obedience or do I want their hearts to be pure! Psalm 51 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Thank you Caitlin, Carly, Wolasa and Rediet. Caitlin,although it has been so hard at times, God is using you and will continue to mold you through your choices, good or bad. And in His soverenty, HE will use you in the life of others if they allow! What a mighty work he is doing in my heart because you are in my life. You are a joy and have more energy than I can keep up with, your intensity, God will use. Your perserverance that you have learned now is unbelievable. The way you can forgive and ask for forgiveness, most adults cannot do, yet you are learning it now. God will use your compassion for life a long way! Carly, your laugh and wittinesss drive me crazy yet make me laugh all at the same time. Your cautiousness with every situation will far, your fire cracker personality will be used by God for sure! Your affection for us is so rewarding when mamma is exhausted! You are precious!!Wolasa, tender, gentle and a lover!! You taught me so much even before you actually where in my arms. Your are teaching me much now. I love your love for learning and they way you want to help with everything! There are days when i could eat you up!!! Sweet Rediet, you are teaching me much too, the Lord is refining my faith through your abscence. I long for you to be home. I love you kids, happy kids day! because there wouldn't be a mothers' day without you! Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Celebrating Wolasa's 4th Birthday.....and Some Fingerprints

We had two great days....we first got to celebrate Wolasa's first birthday with us....his 4th birthday. It was pretty low key on Thursday....he got a power wheels four wheeler (or as Wolasa says "Motocycle" and he had the joy....we'll, we all got the "joy" of dinner and games at Chuck E Cheese Thursday night. We have more fun planned this weekend.

What a joy to get to celebrate our son's birthday.

Today, Sarah and I got to get our CIS fingerprints. Our good friends the Leventhal's also had their fingerprints done today as they move forward with their adoption of their son, Joshua, from China.

Cary

Closer and Closer

Well yesterday we were notified that we are officially approved through gladney! So so excited! we have our fingerprint appt. this week with CIS! I can't believe we are closer. The second time around things are moving alot quicker. We are two months ahead of schedule. Now we fully realize things can slow at any moment but still excited ;) Cary and I went out last night to celebrate our anniversary and his birthday(which is tomorrow). It was so fun to look back and see that it was two years ago on his birthday that we decided to move forward with adoption! and now our precious boy is home and another is on the way. God is so amazing, the last two years have been so exciting and so fulfilling , nervewracking and hard! But I cannot even imagine not doing it and how much we would have missed out on with the Lord, how much I would have missed out on, so many opportunities to love,share, witness, teach, be taught! Can't wait to bring her home. My heart aches for her to be here.
Sarah

Update to Process

Adoption Update ------We received our documents back from FBI today and also received our appointments for fingerprints..........and got word that our homestudy was approved........all today! Our hope is 5 months from now we'll be on our way to bring our daughter home.....If anyone out there is going to Addis anytime in next few months and will be visiting Kechene....please let us know. Once we finally get matched our daughter will finally know what we've been up to these last 7 months since we first met her.....and will love to see/hear how she is doing.

So, are you guys crazy?

I had lunch the other day with a good friend and I was showing him a picture of our daughter that we are in the process of trying to adopt....and the question of "so, are you guys crazy" comes out.

Now...the answer to the question may actually be "yes" ---so, I can't entirely blame him for asking. But, it was rather funny....and then he got a chance to explain a little bit more.

The crazy part is of course the idea of adopting another child....traveling across an ocean to bring another child into our family. The crazy part is adopting a child that is the same age (or near) our oldest daughter. The crazy part is the pure cost of all of this ---today ----and forever more. The crazy part is I know he knows that we know we are far from great parents today.

So ----again - yes, I think we are crazy. I told him that the good news is that I think we can agree on that ---we are crazy. The only thing crazier in my view was us not to adopt her.

God - thank you for this priviledge...hoping for your tender mercies along the way ---but, either way --I know you are right in the middle with us. James 1:27.

Cary

sanantoniotucker

It was such a blessing being with family. I enjoyed every moment. I am so thankful and blessed. Our kiddos did great considering we packed in a ton this past week and had some late nights. Wolasa unfortunately is under the weather but he is getting lots of love! I couldn't help but think about my daughter..so many different emotions, just want her here. Praying that will be soon.

Thinking about the process

We have been laying around today - resting from our spring break trip to San Antonio - and have had lots of time to think about the adoption process. Actually a bit nervous excited today ---starting to think that at some point in next month or so we should get Gladney approved and then start to hear back from FBI sometime in next month or so. Just praying for our daughter - and praying for the process. I so hope that we get on the wait list before some of our friends go back for their adoptions - it would be great to have some friends put their arms around her and tell her how much she is loved.

We also are experiencing Wolasa's first sickness since being home for over 6 months (that is amazing in itself). He has been a trooper - laying around all day today - no complaining though.

Blessing

Blessing- a gift bestowed by God. Just had to write that today as i think about my daughter across the world right now. I am in awe of what the Lord continues to teach me and also how I desire to grow. I have been deeply challenged by our church over the past few weeks. The message series, Life is too short.. so convicting! www.watermark.org go to messages and you can download or just watch. I have also but studying the book of Daniel through a bible study by Mrs. Beth Moore. She is a hoot!but I believe very passionate and delivers the truth well. It's about modern day Babylon. Which could mean a place yet more a philosophy, a mentality too. Am I influencing this modern day Babylon or am I allowing it to influence me? But as I've thought about my daughter, I am overwhelmed with a desire to get her home. I can't believe my heart has turned, once again, and have the peace to move forward with this sweet child of God. Will it be the most challenging thing Iwill ever go through?Idon't know... maybe, maybe not..BUT I know God will get me through. I've enjoyed the reminders throughout this study about trials and how we can approach them. Beth states, typically 3 scenarios when we face trials...(like shadrach,Meshach and Abednego when they stood firm in faith and approached the furnace) WE can be delivered from the fire, and our faith is built..We can be delivered through the fire and our faith is refined..we can be delivered by the fire into His arms and our faith is perfected. WOW.. These guys were delivered through the fire (not from it!) They stood firm and didn't allow fear to overcome them ..They worshiped God alone, not the idols, not the king, not fear! For me my biggest idols is fear, focusing on my circumstance and being persuaded by temporal instead of eternal, focusing on others behaivor and allowing that to consume me instead of God and HIS word.. Daniel 3:17-18... If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." I know I'm babbling..My point is that I know the calling the Lord has put on my life.. To serve and worship HIM and out of that should be an overflow of abundant joy and love for others! inspite of all of us being challenging and difficult :) I am blessed, and my daughter is a blessing! I know it will be hard, yet I also know that God is good, and this child, who did not choose her sufferings, will be brought to us by the Lord to love and to share about a GOD who is merciful and will never leave you or forsake you. You are a blessing sweet girl. Love, mom

SNow in Texas!

Gotta love snow in Texas, everyone freaks out! It's beatiful to enjoy for a small amount of time..and that's why I love it here! So Wolasa loved the snow, loved building a snowman, loved it! all the way up until the time the snow ball fights started. When Carly had her chance (wondering what was going through her mind) she threw a Nolan Ryan right at Wolasa and it was all over.. The crying began for the next half hour.. Poor baby..I got to love on him good. so then I am outside again and some friends of ours pull up in their car to say hello. As they roll down the back window and as I see the clear shot to the four year boy in the back I'm already turning to look at my oldest Caitlin(the rest in slow motion). Caitlin! "noooooooooooooo" But yes, her mind had already decided to move forward. Who knew that she would aim precisely and her target would be hit right between the eyes. Soooo sorry sweet friends,thanks for laughing and not judging. Your son wasn't laughing, in fact the opposite. Another memory to add to the crazy life of the Tucker's! God is so good, thank you for these unpredictable children who keep me on my knees and teach me that I cannot predict or control anything! Faith refined a little more today.

Ease and Comfort

As we process adoption, one of the things that is interesting is how often people are concerned about what the results may be. Most of the time, well meaning and good people who care about us, are concerned with how hard adoption might be. They are right in many ways - adoption can be hard.....but, so are many other decisions that we make in life as well. Marriage is probably the one closest to adoption since both are truly "forever" commitments and can have generational impact.

The interesting thing is most people don't tell you not to marry because it is hard. But, with adoption, "hard" or in my words...."lack of ease or comfort in your life" is often brought up.

Why?

The other thing that as we process adoption, "God's will" often comes us. Why is God's will associated with whether or not something is "easy" or "comfortable". My guess is because we have people who preach that your life will be easy if you pray and say you love Jesus. Of course...this is no where in the Bible.

Just a ramble here - if something is God's will is not determined by how easy or comfortable the decision in which we made makes our life. It is God's will in our lives if it is something that God affirms in scripture. The fact that the results are hard does not mean it isn't God's will (just because it is easy doesn't mean it is God's will either).

I guess I'll I'm trying to do at this point is to ask the question - will this decision honor and glorify Christ. If the answer is "YES" - than as far as I'm concerned right now.....it is a good decision. Hope the results are good.....if not - than He must need to teach me something. Most likely, it will be something about my ideas on ease and comfort.


would love comments or challenges on this.
Cary

Sarah's Birthday

Since I really don't use Facebook....don't have a Twitter account, and don't have an Iphone....I thought I would post a quick note on my night tonight.

I took my absolutely beautiful bride out for her 36th birthday dinner celebration. We went to The Keg in Plano and enjoyed a great steak and were served by a really nice Ethiopian young man named Dawit.

My honest thoughts tonight as I sat with Sarah - wow.....she really is more beautiful today than she was when we first met when she was just 23 (....Sarah - I thought you were beautiful then too!). Sarah....I love you honey. I am so blessed to have you as my bride, my partner in life. I am so blessed that God was just so amazingly kind and gentle with me to give me a wife that would not only do the "till death do us part" thing....but, He was gracious enough to bring me to Him through your acts of kindness, forgiveness, grace and love.

Sarah - you are a beautiful person. You have a beautiful heart. You are a beautiful mother. You have given me beautiful children. You have beautiful eyes...beautiful cheek bones.....a beautiful smile......I love you so. You are a most gorgeous 36 today my beautiful bride.

I love you.

Your husband who is humbly seeking Christ....praying that I will not screw up and think I can do this on my own.....praying that I will always seek Him first and as I do that - praying that I am the husband that you deserve.

Cary

Tucker Christmas! Wisconsin bound!

Here it is!

Wolasa's first Christmas!

We drove across the country to be with Cary's family for Christmas! It was so much fun and so very special! I have been meaning to show video so share our journey and just how sweet it has been with Wolasa! so Stayed tuned for that! IT's coming when I can remember how!

Update: Adoption

Okay....we definitely are not very good at keeping our blog updated. We are back into full swing with school after a great Christmas time up in Wisconsin....Sarah will post a video of our trip later.

Sarah and I are really excited about our next step. We have made the decision after much prayer and processing to start our next adoption. As I previously mentioned on our last blog, we have been praying about a girl that we met while in Addis Ababa picking up Wolasa. We have made the decision to move forward and begin the paperwork process of that adoption.

Please be praying for this.....we basically on starting the paperwork process all over again. Please pray that the process would go as quickly as possible....you still have to go through all the same steps as before - but, hopefully, it will only be a year out or so. I'm optimistic that it will be quicker.

I was sharing with this Sarah this morning and the guys in my community group later that I was really overtaken by my thoughts......."wow, Lord, I can't believe how blessed I feel like I am, I just won the lottery getting the privilige to go and adopt".

I have no idea what is going to happen from here on out. There are so many things that can happen in a process like this; I trust God that whatever does happen, I know that our hearts in starting this is to glorify Him. I trust that He loves us. I trust that He loves our daughter on the other side of the world. I trust Him that if things are really hard some day, that He loves us, and that all of this still glorifies Him.

Look forward to keeping you up to date on this process as we move forward and once we get through all of our paperwork, and God willing, get matched.

Cary